i'm cooking the veggies and valuing myself! (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
themeletor) wrote2005-09-10 10:07 pm
themeletor) wrote2005-09-10 10:07 pm
(no subject)
Next person who asks me about a job?
Is going to be SHOT.
Just so that everyone who might bring it up and who is not my parents (at whom I have already just snapped) knows -- NO JOB QUESTIONS.
It is perfectly, painfully obvious to me that I do not and will not have enough money without a. But I have put in all my papers, and am not about to bust my shit over getting a work study when there's really not a lot more I can do. In the mean time, it would help NOT to remind me that I'm walking on eggshells, living on borrowed money, and hanging on to the edges of this little heaven I've found -- and I've worked hard for my grip on those edges. FUCK NO I am not letting go.
Shit, now I've let myself get really emo.
It is not good, my mood or my evening. In case you couldn't tell.
Escape would be nice, but I can't squeeze out any writing, thankyoumumanddad.
Can I just... pretend that I deserve to be here, for a little longer? Pretend that what feels more like home than my house ever did is really where I can stay? Pretend, maybe, even, that I won't have to give up sailing for lack of time (I'll have to be working) and money (can't buy gear anyway)?
I thought it would take a little more than this to make me cry.
What the hell.
Is going to be SHOT.
Just so that everyone who might bring it up and who is not my parents (at whom I have already just snapped) knows -- NO JOB QUESTIONS.
It is perfectly, painfully obvious to me that I do not and will not have enough money without a. But I have put in all my papers, and am not about to bust my shit over getting a work study when there's really not a lot more I can do. In the mean time, it would help NOT to remind me that I'm walking on eggshells, living on borrowed money, and hanging on to the edges of this little heaven I've found -- and I've worked hard for my grip on those edges. FUCK NO I am not letting go.
Shit, now I've let myself get really emo.
It is not good, my mood or my evening. In case you couldn't tell.
Escape would be nice, but I can't squeeze out any writing, thankyoumumanddad.
Can I just... pretend that I deserve to be here, for a little longer? Pretend that what feels more like home than my house ever did is really where I can stay? Pretend, maybe, even, that I won't have to give up sailing for lack of time (I'll have to be working) and money (can't buy gear anyway)?
I thought it would take a little more than this to make me cry.
What the hell.
no subject
my advice? keep pretending for at least a semester, throw yourself into your course, really get a handle on your new life and workload, and when you think you've adjusted to this enourmous (but lovely) upheaval in your life, then think about getting a job.
from someone who's been there, even if you end up working 3 jobs in the summer holidays it's worth it not to let your degree work get screwed up because you didn't have the time to devote to it because you were earning cash to stay there.
you
no subject
you're at an amazing college and you're there to study, make sure that this *always* remains the most important thing and sod the cashflow crisis.