things I noticed last night about *spoiler* and *spoiler*

[themeletor]

1. Jack was absolutely in the longboat to save the Pearl, whether by drawing the kraken off her or trying to head back to the island and find the heart... the chest... James... something. Anything, and he's just got to get it before the kraken takes the Pearl. Which would explain why he's rowing like there's a fucking fire under his skin. But then he takes a long, sad, worried, determined look at the Pearl, under all those badass tentacles, and checks the compass -- and whatever he sees, I don't know what it is, but whatever it is sends him straight to the Pearl, and with that gun in his hand you can see that he's at the point of, "look, if there's no way to out-negotiate this thing, I'm just going to have to fight it mano a tentacle. Which he proceeds to do, and when the fucker finally pulls off he shoos the crew away but makes absolutely no mention of leaving -- which makes perfect sense because it's his fucking ship and he's the fucking captain. Gibbs says some things that might be construed as expecting Jack to leave ship (for which I am more pissed at Gibbs than anyone, wtf dude?), but Jack himself starts heading slowly and thoughtfully back to his cabin, and I've seen this walk before; it's the "this is my ship and I'm staying with her" walk.

Of course ELIZABETH, who is a JACKASS, decides to not trust him, and be a bitch, and not even get it, and um again. Be a bitch. I think Elizabeth took Will's former position as Massive Fuckup in this film, seriously, because... really. And of course the whole time she's wasting time with her spiel about "the kraken wants you, Jack, not the ship, not the crew," I'm thinking 'of COURSE the beastie wants the Pearl, you idiot, but of course you weren't listening there when Davy Jones fucking SAID THAT, but Jack was, and he KNOWS IT, so let him take on the fucking kraken!' But oh, no, he's got to figure a way out of the manacles before he can do that, because ELIZABETH HAS APPARENTLY ABSORBED ALL OF WILL'S DUMBFUCKERY. But oh man, when Jack does get free, and faces that nasty sucky stinky bastard, he does it with his hat on and his sword drawn, and he's jumping in head-first. "You take my ship, you've got to answer to me, fish-brains." And believe you me, kraken, Jack Sparrow will kick your ass.

And that is why this time I fucking broke apart when I saw the Pearl go down in the kraken's grasp. I was a mess, and I don't care if most of it was convoluted justification I completely made up; the point is that it allowed me to accept that part of the movie. And when it all comes down to it? That's what's important. I'm a selfish bitch, and it's all about me.

2. James really, really hates Jack. No, really. A lot. Which is something I appear to have forgotten in all the "omg sparrington <3!" and such, but seriously. Norrington sincerely, passionately, totally hates Jack. Liek whoah, and I'll write up the rest of my Norrington notes from last night later, because now I have to go to work.

Comments welcome! Quiero discutir.

Comments

[tanya1976.livejournal.com]

I absolutely hate Elizabeth....that's all I have to say.

[curlieqt16.livejournal.com]

I was so distracted by the stupid fact that she looks like she's pouting in every damn second of the film to really pay attention to how she was fucking everyhing up.

[tanya1976.livejournal.com]

Her character's in the fucking way, seriously. Do we really need her as part of the story? Nope

[emerald-embers.livejournal.com]

Technically untrue until 20 mins or so into the movie. Once Will has his saving-his-dad motivation going on, then she becomes kind of unnecessary, as Will's flagrantly decided "Elizabeth's not actually in jail, we're all on the run anyway and likely to remain so, the one thing I really have going for me is I can save my dad from turning into part of Davy Jones' ship".

Words cannot express how much I loathed Elizabeth this time around. She's spunky at the beginning with the "Hi, I'm totally escaping", although her doing so kind of void's Will's heroic going off to rescue her plans, but then she goes from spunky -> conniving bitch.

Graargh. Learn from Monkey Island 1->3 fellas, Governor Elaine Marley is THE piratey superwoman.

[tanya1976.livejournal.com]

I totally see what you are saying.

[elizile.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, your icon made me burst into laughter. It's great.

Anyways, I agree with you. If she'd wipe that stupid little pouty look off her face...or that freakin' annoying fake-grim "Lookit me, I'm trying to be tough!" thing, I might be able to stand her just a tiny bit more.

[shrieking-ell.livejournal.com]

1) thank you for succinctly detailing why JAck might leave the Pearl in distress. It bothered me until you spelled it out for me.

2)2. James really, really hates Jack. No, really. A lot. Which is something I appear to have forgotten in all the "omg sparrington <3!" and such, but seriously. Norrington sincerely, passionately, totally hates Jack. Liek whoah, and I'll write up the rest of my Norrington notes from last night later, because now I have to go to work. Which is why i'm suddenly seeing all sorts of James/Will possibilities. I honestly did not feel the sparrington here. Maybe with teh deleted scenes, it'll come back.

3) have i told you yet that i love bitter, violent Norrington?

[(Anonymous)]

Hmmm. But does he hate him as a person or does he hate him for what he stands for?

[captain-molly.livejournal.com]

Lizzie was kind of a jackass, but she meant it in a good way. I swear. the fact that I identify with Keira Knightley and especially when she plays Elizabeth (the whole girly girl who can (now) kick ass thing) may not help my stand in this discussion She wanted to save Will, the man she loves.

Norrington despises Jack. But hate!sex is the hottest. And I have fic ideas for that, Jack/Will, Jack/Elizabeth/Will, Jack/Will/Norrington, and (don't kill me) Will/Davy Jones.

[meletor-et-al.livejournal.com]

of course, but, similar to Will in the first movie who BASHED JACK WITH AN OAR because he felt like saving dear Lizzie, she managed to TOTALLY SCREW SHIT UP, thanks Liz. I do support her kickassery, though -- just not her bad attitude/rash actions toward Jack.

Sparrington hate!sex FTW, always. Jack/Will/Norrington dynamics at this juncture would be FASCINATING. and intense. and um... sexy. srsly. Will/Davy Jones sounds interesting, weird, wrong, awesome, and like something I'd not be able to read until I managed to get over my thing with tentacles. though I may have to get over it SOLELY FOR THAT PURPOSE.

[duckgirlie.livejournal.com]

Seriously, how Freudian was the kraken?

[meletor-et-al.livejournal.com]

sometimes a cigar is just a squid. I mean penis. I MEAN CIGAR!

[duckgirlie.livejournal.com]

First it was hmm... that's awfully like the sarlac... then it became OMG! GIANT TOOTHED VAGINA!! RUN!!

[daughtermestizo.livejournal.com]

2. Yeah, I noticed that too! And most of my f-list at LEAST noticed the complete loss of sexual tension between Jack and Norrie. Oh, James most DEFINITELY hates that man, now.

D-M

[meletor-et-al.livejournal.com]

odd, because I actually noticed *more* of a spark between them.

but yeah. totally hates Jack. fortunately with Sparrington that does not at all preclude sexing ;)

[daughtermestizo.livejournal.com]

Well, don't take my word for it; I was only briefly a Sparrington fan! XD

No, but it COULD get ugly!

[jenlan.livejournal.com]

Ahh...personally, if it didn't come through in my ramblings on my LJ...I was never really much of an Elizabeth fan. She was tolerable in the movies...but really, never really liked the girl...

Anyhoo, in terms of the whole Jack/James I must say that the snark certainly made more clear a spark in the 2nd movie...just too bad it all was hate on James' end...Although, I think someone asked, and it is an interesting thought. Does he hate Jack or does he hate Jack because he's a pirate? And that streams into the whole...'why does James hate pirates so much anyway?' universe that could have so many possibilities...

Ahem, as it is, interesting thoughts that and may I just be silly and say: regardless of whether there is really any Jack/James...OMG! mussed James is for licking...oooooh yes! *lick*

[elessil.livejournal.com]

Butbbutbut...Norrington obviously hates Will MORE, because given the choice of chasing after Jack *with the key* and Will, he sets on Will. Totally hates Will more.

He and Jack hate each other the way of boys tugging girls' hair in the sandbox to make friends. *nods eagerly and is in utter denial*

Jack wanted to stay with the Pearl, definitely. Else he'd have SCREAMED.

[porridgebird.livejournal.com]

given the choice of chasing after Jack *with the key* and Will, he sets on Will
BINGO!

[elizile.livejournal.com]

Elizabeth is a fake, spoiled, selfish, horny little bitch.

She and Will should put on "I'm with stupid" shirts and walk off hand-in-hand...preferably off the freaking screen.
You're so right about Elizabeth absorbing a lot of the dumbass quality from Will. He seems to have improved, while she's spiraled rapidly downward.

It really pissed me off how little excitement she showed at Will appearing randomly on the beach. Um hi, have a little enthusiasm and maybe some concern for him, please, instead of boasting "I came to look for you!" and then promptly making out with him in front of poor Norrie and Jack. Especially Norrie. Does she have any regard for his feelings whatsoever? BITCH.

I think in the third movie the natives need to roast her over the spit and eat her.