just let me get something off my chest:
Jul. 16th, 2006 05:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
themeletorI. Hate. Babies.
I understand that many of you on my flist are in fact the parents and/or guardians of infants, toddlers, and other Small and Smelly Things in the early stages of human development. I also understand that you and others frequently love these wee beasties, and that they are considered to be cute, clever, beloved, and astounding, not to mention great things to have in the case of an emergency (baby meat can be prepared and eaten in the same way one would prepare and serve veal; popular recipes include Baby Parmigiana, Medallions of Baby with Carrot and Parsley, and Madiera Braised Baby Cheeks with Creamy Polenta. I seem to recall once reading about a whole roast baby, but am skeptical as to whether that recipe could really succeed).
However, please, if you ever make plans to stay at My Hotel (Holiday Inn Express Hotel & Suites New Berlin, Wisconsin), do me a small favor and leave the pocket-sized poop-factories at home. Or with a sitter, or some unsuspecting relative, or something. And if you must bring the baby along, if you have no other choice, please please do your best to clean up after him/her/it. Butt-prints on the furniture, exploding diapers on the bedspread, mashed bananas and Cheerios ground into the carpeting -- these are all major 'no-no's. They are generally right up there at the top of my list of Things That Make Me Want To Bash Other Things (And People!) With My Vacuum Cleaner. Be responsible for your loin-droppings (and for their droppings). Thank you.
Have a lovely day, and travel safely!
-Mel
I understand that many of you on my flist are in fact the parents and/or guardians of infants, toddlers, and other Small and Smelly Things in the early stages of human development. I also understand that you and others frequently love these wee beasties, and that they are considered to be cute, clever, beloved, and astounding, not to mention great things to have in the case of an emergency (baby meat can be prepared and eaten in the same way one would prepare and serve veal; popular recipes include Baby Parmigiana, Medallions of Baby with Carrot and Parsley, and Madiera Braised Baby Cheeks with Creamy Polenta. I seem to recall once reading about a whole roast baby, but am skeptical as to whether that recipe could really succeed).
However, please, if you ever make plans to stay at My Hotel (Holiday Inn Express Hotel & Suites New Berlin, Wisconsin), do me a small favor and leave the pocket-sized poop-factories at home. Or with a sitter, or some unsuspecting relative, or something. And if you must bring the baby along, if you have no other choice, please please do your best to clean up after him/her/it. Butt-prints on the furniture, exploding diapers on the bedspread, mashed bananas and Cheerios ground into the carpeting -- these are all major 'no-no's. They are generally right up there at the top of my list of Things That Make Me Want To Bash Other Things (And People!) With My Vacuum Cleaner. Be responsible for your loin-droppings (and for their droppings). Thank you.
Have a lovely day, and travel safely!
-Mel
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-16 11:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-17 12:43 am (UTC)The legends of my flooding the mersey ferry are varied and constant in only my embarassment.
(I still want babies though ^_-)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-17 01:24 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-17 01:51 am (UTC)Most insist that I'll change my mind eventually, but... eugh. Small children in general make me want to badly hurt things.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-17 02:17 am (UTC)We're not having kids - so there's my view on that :p
(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-17 03:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-07-21 07:06 am (UTC)One day when she had nothing to do, sing rickity tickity tin,
One day when she had nothing to do, she cut her baby bother in two, and served him up as an irish stew...
And invited the neighbours in, 'bours in, invited the neighbours in.