Drink-and-Dial v. "macadamia nut w/ sugar"

[themeletor]

It has come to my attention that someone may in fact have to give me a crash course on dating. You know, simple things like "get the stick out of your ass," "you can eat things that aren't french onion soup," "yes, he is looking at your corset," and "check your voicemail"...

...Actually, in that line, "upon checking your voicemail at 4:30 Monday morning and finding a message from 6:45 Friday night, do not call and make a ridiculous dork of yourself a la leaving a message that only a brain on far too little sleep and too many cups of coffee could comprehend...

-- ok, really, just "check your voicemail".


I am retarded.

Comments

[providence-crow.livejournal.com]

would you be upset if i said i would kill to hear what that voice mail you left sounded like? 'cause it's bound to be funny.....

[meletor-et-al.livejournal.com]

grrr.

[providence-crow.livejournal.com]

shall i take that as a yes? ^^teehee

[meletor-et-al.livejournal.com]

see icon.

[providence-crow.livejournal.com]

tickling. i don't suppose you'd understand a "Cake or Death" reference?

[shrieking-ell.livejournal.com]

a) yes you can eat whatever you want. i once demolished an entire giant burrito on a date and then said "you finished with this?" and dug into his. he still asked me out again.

b) yes. he is looking at your corset. Daim, girl, I'd be looking at it too.

c) it was good for him to spend the entire weekend wondering what the hell he did wrong that you didn't call back and if you would. he's also kicking himself for picking a restaurant where the only food you found acceptable was soup and not even french onion at that.

d) so what did you say to him in that voicemail? had to ask. ;-)

so you're doing all right. not that i'm an expert or anything but i did manage to marry one...

[elizile.livejournal.com]

I do so admire your eating-on-date skills! Guys like that. I'm just afraid to put too much in my mouth and then be asked a question, so I end up nervously stirring things around on my plate and seeming anorexic. Not cool...

[meletor-et-al.livejournal.com]

they do?

wtf...

[tiggothy.livejournal.com]

Is there something in the air making everyone worry about their dating skills? My sisters decided they need to practice, so went out for a meal together (apparently).

Me? I never got my head around the whole concept of "dating" - I just concentrated on being friends with people. If I ended up sleeping with them, maybe it was worth spending more time with them...

umm... in other words, don't look to me for advice (but yes, he was looking at/down your corset)

[elizile.livejournal.com]

It's really hard to concentrate on being friends when you have a big ol' crush on someone. Not that Mel has one on this guy...I'm just throwing it out there.

[tiggothy.livejournal.com]

I just flirt with everyone... umm... that wasn't very helpful, was it?

[elizile.livejournal.com]

Mel, I need a crash course in being relaxed and charming around my crush so as not to appear as a spaz.

Effing butterflies...*mutters*

[meletor-et-al.livejournal.com]

dude. totally can't help there. I just turn into Emily Post.

...my best advice? you're an actress. channel those butterflies, like you do on stage. take a deep breath, and work the flutters into a loose, calming energy.

......or maybe something that soulds a little less new-age-y and retarded. you know.